The Influence of Women

I felt I needed to write about this not only because I am a woman but because there have been so many times I felt I have been silenced in fear of saying something wrong.

Over the last several months, the world has been discussing the sexual harassment accusations and scandals surrounding some of the most powerful and well-known men of the film industry. Men we have grown up idolizing with posters on our walls, men we have respected for so many years and careers we have followed and still do. Men have run the film industry for many many years and often we discuss men as directors, producers, cameramen, filmmakers and leading actors. Men have been praised for and paid more compared to women. Men get the better roles and to be honest most roles in the film industry. It wasn’t until recently that women have been getting publicity in term of their roles within the industry that is probably down to the topic of gender equality. 

Women have always been the supportive gender, never the leading. Women are expected to look pretty and be objectified because men say so. Women are expected to act in a certain way and never get in the way of men. But with these scandals and all because of a man named Harvey Weinstein, women are rewriting all the things they have never had the courage to do or say because they can. These brave women have been coming forward and finding their voices to talk about the most disgusting, most vile and most sickening things some men have been capable and frankly been allowed to do to them and their bodies. Forceful things. Demeaning things. Things we once thought were too taboo to talk about. Well not anymore. Women have found their voice and they are making a stand and as a woman, I find it so empowering and inspiring that this is happening right now. 

I cannot compare myself to what these women have been subjected to and I will not imagine the horrific things they had to do for men like Weinstein. I am saying that all men are horrible human beings because that would be an exaggeration to mine and other women’s stories. But there have been things in each of their stories that I can relate to. Most of my relationships have been good but I have come out of them as someone I barely recognised and not in a good way. There have been points in my relationships when I have been called a liar because I was 13 and told his friends he showed me his penis and they, of course, took his side. A time when I found out that he had been seeing someone else behind my back like I could be replaced in an instant. The times when I said no and he shakes his head like I’m the one in the wrong. Or when I begged him to stay and he brushed it off and said ‘we’re just not meant to be, you’ll find someone else’ and then comes back 3 months later telling me he loves me and I took him back. I loved them all but looking back, I never realised how dependent I was to hand them over the control, times when I knew I was right but bit my tongue in the fear I will get shut down anyway. I always took the blame and I always took them back because I am willing to compromise my feelings so they’ll stay in the same way these women were petrified in losing their jobs so they chose to compromise also. 

I feel so proud of these women and the change they are making to the world not only in defining gender but defining the power and influence of women. Six months ago, I ended a 4-year relationship with a guy I promised myself would be the one I wanted to marry. It was an amazing relationship and we had our ups and downs but we stuck by each other even though we were 3 hours apart for nearly 3 years. I ended it because he was moving to another country and I had to admit that it was not going to work out. He also told me that I never made effort and I should have taken his money and come visited him. He told me that I am in the wrong and we need to talk about this issue more often. I told him that I wish him good luck, I hope we meet each other again one day and then I broke up with him. I thought I would regret it and I felt so disappointed it ended kind of bitter but honestly, when I woke up the next morning, it was like a huge weight was lifted off me and I smiled so wholeheartedly.

Two months after that, the news about Weinstein came in and floods of women started to speak up and they continue to do so as evidenced by the Golden Globes last night. Six months on, I am writing to you about the influence of women and I can confidently say I made one of the best decisions in my life. I can breathe and laugh and I have never felt more me than I am today.

As Oprah said last night at the Golden Globes ‘A New Day is on the Horizon’ and damn I have a feeling we will see a lot of women in every new day!

 

2018 New Year’s Resolutions

I am so sorry that I have been away for so long. As I always say, busy, busy, busy. The last two months of 2017 was so hectic that I have put this blog on the back burner. All the things I wanted to write about have either been half written or have titles and not written at all. So I apologise that I haven’t been as active as I would have liked to be. (end of apology) 

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

I cannot believe that we survived 2017 and we are just a few days into 2018. A New Year means a lot of things. The New Year is the time many people will say: NEW YEAR, NEW ME. A time when we will be promising to lose weight, to travel the world or even create a new identity altogether. A time for making resolutions that cannot be resolved or semi-give up on it completely because let’s be honest, how long was it really going to last? 2018 is a new year for a clean slate and where we can do and say and think up new things for another 365 days. 

I have decided to do some resolutions this year because why not? and because I really wanted to get into the spirit of the New Year. I tried to pick resolutions that I know I can do and will actually accomplish. 

  1. Drink more water: I feel that I haven’t been that keen on drinking water (even though that is all I have ever drunk since I was a teenager because I was a good child who didn’t want to break the ‘NO SOFT DRINKS’ rule). I want to drink more water this year because I have heard it makes you have good skin and keeps you hydrated. The goal will be 1 glass when I wake up, 2 glasses after each meal and 1 glass before bed. 
  2. Exercise more: This is kind of linked to losing weight (because I have gained 4 kilos during the Christmas break thanks to my mom’s cooking) and I want to get back into shape and maybe lose more than I had before I gained some back. I am not going to put how often or a certain number to it (yet) but I definitely want to exercise more this year.
  3. Shut down Facebook (again): I had this revelation last year when I gave Facebook up for Lent2017 that I didn’t need FB as much as I thought I did. Plus I really think that Facebook should retire. I know that FB was cool at the start when it was being hyped up to be as big as My Space but now it has been meh! (I don’t even have the app on my devices anymore). Facebook owns other apps (like Instagram) that are fairing more in terms of audience participation and being a social media platform. I aim to shut Facebook down in time for Lent and move on to focus on my other social media accounts. 
  4. More Self Learning: I learnt a lesson from breaking up with someone last year and it is that I still have a lot to learn about myself. I have things to figure out and things I would like to do on my own (without the stress or hassle of having to worry about another person). This year will the year I will fully get to enjoy being single and finding out more about who I am and what I want to become. 
  5. More Blogging: I really want to make an effort to do more blogging and keep improving my blog and getting to meet other bloggers and readers. I think making connections is great and as a person who isn’t into physically travelling I want to still be able to travel but on the internet. I want to meet other people and get more ideas on what to write and just be able to share more undiscovered adventures with everyone.

So. that is my five resolutions for 2018 and hopefully, I will be able to stick to them. I hope you all have a lovely 2018. I am so excited for another year of blogging. 

Peace and Love, 

Trisha xox

I’m Glad You Found Someone Else… Cause It Wasn’t Meant To Be.

What I learned from a Job Interview Everyone Else Wanted For Me

Yay, I graduated but now what? The question that goes through my mind (and hopefully other graduates’ minds) once they have walked the stage and gotten that piece of paper. What am I gonna do now that ai have gotten a degree? I hated to think about it but damn, I should have really thought about it sooner. But I have never been a decisive person and making decisions takes a lot of planning. Of course, I have a job now and I really enjoy working there as it is minimum hours and a late start (but it also means minimum wages). As much s you love a job, you also need the money to survive and buy necessities like shaving cream and driving lessons (yes I know, I still haven’t booked those yet but that’s for another blog post!). So, I have been looking at other job options that are part-time that I can do alongside my current job role.

I found several jobs in the local area and out of the ten jobs I applied for, one came to the forefront and we clung to it. The job was at a great location, at a top-notch building and the pay was something anyone would have jumped at. They have shortlisted me and invited me in for an interview. Everyone was very excited and of course, I was too (as well as nervous). They all wanted this job for me and my sister kept telling me “You better at this, Trisha”. But as you know from the title of this blog post, I didn’t get it.

At first, I was disappointed and upset that they didn’t pick me and I couldn’t get the reasons why. I doubted myself and looked up articles on my employers don’t pick you. I looked over my preparation (which wasn’t that great if I’m honest as I had higher priorities in my mind at the time) and then looked at alternative scenarios I could have done differently. Maybe I should have been selfish and focused on my interview preparation rather than spending my time making Vanessa’s surprise birthday as best as she deserves to have. Maybe if I didn’t spend so much money on it, I wouldn’t be looking for another job or maybe I should have forfeited my own sister’s happiness so I can get a job that pays more. But I know deep down, I didn’t want that. Vanessa deserves a lot (even if she is mean sometimes) and I won’t ever sacrifice someone’s happiness just so I can have more money. After all, happiness or money doesn’t grow on trees and money doesn’t make you happy, your family does.

Besides, as good as the job sounded it probably wouldn’t have lasted anyways because I know that this was the first interview where I showed my true self. I shared my opinions and was the most talkative I have ever been in my job interviews so far. I answered the questions with honesty and creatively. I admitted my faults and highlighted my ability to be humble and approachable. But in the end, my lack of customer experience and skills let me down. Well (not to sound bitter or salty) but I think that it really wasn’t meant to be and I am so relieved that they found the right person to suit that position and it wasn’t me.

After I got the rejection email, I stared at it and I felt disappointed that I didn’t get it and the first thing I thought was that “you idiot Trisha! You let them down”. I was so upset that my family will be upset but deep down I ended up crying in relief because as much as they would have wanted me to have that job, in truth I didn’t want it. So it didn’t matter what went wrong or what I could have done differently because a part of me knew I wasn’t going to be happy there. This was just like a relationship that you tried to make work but you knew that it wasn’t the highest priority so you clung onto it hoping it will work out in the end but it just wasn’t meant to be. You go through what went wrong and you come to the conclusion that if they are not going to appreciate you for qualities you have then thank the Lord, he didn’t will for it to continue any further and you can move on.

This was definitely a learning experience and I will wholeheartedly take all their feedbacks on board. I wish them all the best. As much as this may cause some sadness, I’m glad I didn’t allow myself to settle for something far less than I deserve.

Death Will Win

A girl who decided to promise her life to Death
In twenty-four hours she’ll take her final breath
She needs someone to show her the light
To free her and hold her tight
She stares into the dark, swimming in red
If you don’t go now, she’ll soon be dead
She’s crying softly, here comes the rain
Death is knocking, she’s gonna go insane
Come to her and she might let you in
If you don’t, then Death will win!

*for World Suicide Awareness Day*

Never Mind

Many years have passed and words have been said
Yet here we are standing the test of time instead
We stand face to face, invisible to the eye and screen in hand
We talk and it comes back to the phrase: ‘I hope you understand’
But you know what, I don’t think I do and maybe after this, I never will
We have been moving so fast but Mate its time to stand still
I asked you a harmless question and you asked one back
I had an explanation then you exploded with an attack
You began with how you did me good through all these years
Oh is that why my heart is breaking and my eyes fill with tears?
You accuse me of things I never gave you or every did
Sometimes, you make me feel like the girl that God forbid
You continue that my lack of presence means I don’t care
Just because I didn’t take the train or the money, well that’s not fair!
You said I hold you at a distance even when you are close enough to touch
Sorry I wasted my tears for two days straight, just because I missed you so much
Then you end the conversation by saying  it’s nice for a couple to openly communicate
Four months have gone by and you choose to tell me this now, well Dude it’s too late
I am tired of disappointments and how we are running round and round
You keep on talking clever words but I no longer hear any sound
You missed so much whilst you were basking in your incredibility
You wanted me to be more visible in your life, how about invisibility?
Because I feel invisible and all I asked was a tag or a small post
I didn’t ask you for money or a train ticket, I’m so glad this ends with almost
I want to wish you good luck in your future and I’ll bow out and say farewell
If you had only listened, there are so many news I still had to say and tell
But I guess you’ll never know that I was about to start a job, actually two
If you could have only waited, I would be now planning my way to you
I never thought I would be the one to end it, I was the one who walked away
I have a feeling I will remember that rainy night and the following sunny day
And the saddest thing is that you made me believe that we are intertwined
But when I woke up, my heart felt lighter and my brain shrugged: “Never mind”.

CHILL

Did you read that comment on your post?
From a random stranger from across the coast
They said you are a joke and look fake
Oh sorry, did they make a mistake?
Why did you delete it, the person is online
Wait did you block them, are you feeling fine?
Wow your blocked list is pretty full
Why do you look like a raging bull?
Sorry, did that offend you, well its true
Damn, you’re so immature, did you really block me too?
I’m not a social butterfly but where have you been?
Girl, please take your face out of that screen
You remove and delete posts you don’t want to see
So you can continue acting like a total wanna-bee
If you can’t take criticisms well tough for you
Now you are acting like you don’t have a clue
People will say things that you don’t like
Time to walk away and take a hike
Get some fresh air and just embrace
You cannot keep clicking the button: ERASE
Everyone has an opinion that will come to bite you back
Darling, don’t take this as a personal attack
Just listen to what I’m saying even if you won’t take it in
You keep acting like this and I guarantee you’ll never win
Listen carefully, I will say this nice and slow
Cause I know your blocking finger is ready to go
You have to remember people can say what they will
Girl, log off your account, walk away and CHILL!

HAPPINESS

How do you do it every single day?
A piece of your heart you have to give away
Pleasing everyone is not the best thing
Pleasing yourself has a nicer ring
In this world, we need more laughter and smiles
Nothing can compare to how the sun shines for miles
Every day you can make a change by living a positive life
Simply ignore the bad memories and moments of strife
So, you can think more about yourself, never less
…Don’t allow others to downplay your happiness!