He said ‘I like you’ but his boy brain kissed her. This boy said he fancied me to the extent he gave me presents because that’s how you win a girl’s heart that you like, right? After telling me that he likes me and looked me in the eyes: he still kissed her. We were both standing outside of maths class, innocently flirting whilst the teacher gets ready for the lesson. He was telling me I look cute today and I was probably blushing. I wasn’t looking for a boyfriend at the time (but a high school crush I could have being a young girl, aged 13). Anyways there were also these two girls who were playing a game of “Kiss Me”. They were getting guys from the corridor to kiss their cheek (a stupid game I know but this was before everyone discovered Facebook). One of the girls stopped in the middle of my high school crush and I and asked him to kiss her cheek. He looked at me and I shrugged (hoping he’ll get the hint and NOT kiss her) but of course, he did. He kissed her and had a huge grin on his face. Meanwhile, I wasn’t impressed and a little pissed so I gave him the worst thing an immature/jealous high school girl could think of giving: the Silent Treatment. He spent a week trying the figure out why I wasn’t talking to him anymore and looking back he deserved every single second of silence that I gave him.
Diamonds are supposed to be a girl’s best friend but for me, it is more like a dark omen. All three of my ex-boyfriends gave me jewellery as their first gifts. It was all sweet at first and of course, I enjoy the little sparkle that jewellery can add to your outfit and those boys have a great taste in jewellery. It is only when the jewellery starts to break, rust or gets lost that signifies a symbol from God or something of high universal power that this relationship is about to come to an end. For instance, when my first boyfriend broke up with me, I chose to give back the gold bracelet he gave me as a” token of his love” (more on this in another post). He wasn’t offended I gave it back and many people were questioning why I didn’t just sell it on eBay but it was my decision so I handed it back to him. We were on and off flirting with each other and one day he was high or drunk and he mentioned how he wished I still had the bracelet. I said I didn’t want it and asked if he still had it. And surprise surprise (not), he didn’t know where it was…an expensive bracelet that was supposed to be a token of his love is forever lost- a bit like any feeling I may still have for him lol.
Then, my second boyfriend gave me a lovely necklace that was made of stretchy string, had beads threaded through it and had a moulded glass centrepiece in the shape of a heart (how romantic). I wore it every day and had it on my bedside table as I sleep at night. It lasted for 9 months and then the heart one day just broke in half (which was so ironic come to think of it). A couple of days later he broke up with me and I just knew it was some sort of sign. My third ex is a little different as I was the one who ended it with him but the necklace and earring combo (again very beautiful, expensive and often worn) had started to rust and there was a knot in the chain. Another sign that it wasn’t meant to be.
So, the lesson of the story is this: to my future boyfriend, wherever you are, whenever you will pop up in my life, please read this as a cautionary warning that jewellery leads to a break-up so don’t give me any jewellery as your first gift. (although know I do not have anything against jewellery being a second gift or a third gift etc…).
Whilst I was still going out with that boy from ‘Sat Next to Me’ post we were just hanging out being lovey-dovey (which makes me kind of nauseous thinking about it) sitting on a bench by the football field. We were talking and he leaned in to kiss me and the next thing I know, my hair and my back are drenched in orange juice. We look up and there were two of his mates laughing with amusement and one of them has an empty orange juice bottle in his hand. I turned around: ‘Why did you do that for?!’. He sneered at me: ‘Sorry it slipped.’ was the bullshit excuse that came out of his mouth. I wanted to hit him so bad but the tears came before the fist so instead, I ran to the bathroom to fix myself. I left a group of people puzzled and heard ‘Dude, what did you do?’ (which was aimed at my boyfriend). I ran to the toilet and cried with embarrassment. I was angry that I smell of orange juice and angry that my so-called-boyfriend just stood there like an idiot and watch one of his friends humiliate me (I was also pissed at the orange pouring douche of course). I composed myself and went outside met by all these people who witnessed what happened and some people who liked a gossip, trying to find out what happened. I looked at my boyfriend and his douchebag friend who were stood side by side, both looking guilty and dumbfounded but no word of apology or comfort came forward. I walked past the crowd as the bell rang and the next day all events were forgotten. I still remembered though to this day and honestly the grudge game is still strong.
Ever had anyone who suddenly comes into your school and jumps into your friendship group like it was an okay thing to do? Well, I have (twice). I am a friendly person and is open to being kind to you and being friends with you. But after a while, she had a vibe about her. I am normally good at sensing people’s aura but I think there was a delay or something. She came to high school in the third year and she jumped into the friendship circle I was in. I was okay with her for a little bit and stayed friends with her until the end. But it was the little things she said to me and did that questioned how much of a friend she really is:
- My first boyfriend broke up with me and she confessed later that she found him very cute and fancied him when she first started but saw he was with me and decided to stay away.
- I told her that I fancy this guy in confidence and she went out to ask him out for me but ended up “accidentally” asking him out for herself.
- We were supposed to be in a group for our final drama performance and she was telling me how she is extremely reluctant to work with this guy in our group. The day came when the drama teacher asked us to form our groups and I looked like a right idiot sitting there by myself when she moved to another group. She didn’t tell me anything about moving but she casually apologised a week later (like that makes it okay) *
- I joked about her looking like one of the traffic lights when she wore a red dress to prom and she was sat next to two other people wearing orange and green (one of which was actually me). She didn’t like that and snubbed our table to hang out with other people for the rest of the event.
- She moved to the Sixth Form college I went to and again (she did it twice!) hanged out with my friendship group I was in and acted like I was being distant. (I ended up leaving that friendship group after they all showed their true colours).
- I invited her to my 18th birthday party, she sang me a song and at the end of the evening, she didn’t thank me and I haven’t heard from her since.
I know that when I had started having bad vibes about her that I should have walked away much sooner and not welcomed her as my friend. But seriously, if I had just walked away I would have been the one seen as bitchy and I didn’t want that. Also, I know that being an angsty teenager I tend to have bad days and so I thought maybe I was just reflecting my problems on her (my sister also admitted she got that vibe about her when I told her about this post) but I just had a gut feeling that I am right. This experience taught me to be cautious of people who claim to be my “friend” because sometimes their intentions are not real.
*I will post a follow-up story to explain more about this drama project and my ex-friend.
My first boyfriend and I met in high school because we were in the same form group. I personally didn’t know anything about dating and wasn’t looking for a boyfriend but being a naive 13-year-old girl what was I supposed to know. We dated for 6 months and were on and off for another 3 years. One day I asked him when was the first time he knew he liked me and he replied: ‘When you were sat next to me.’ I must have looked confused so he continued: ‘When we were in our form room we had to sit next to each other and I told you that my parents were separated.’ I nodded at him, pretended I knew and we went off with our relationship. I was reflecting on it one night and the moment he told me about started to replay in my mind.
We had to sit alphabetically for our form group and I was sat next to this guy. We didn’t really talk (because I was immature and thought boys have cooties or something lol). Anyways, I was shy and didn’t feel the need to talk to someone I will only see in the mornings and the occasional classes. I remember he would laugh at what I said and try to make conversation, but I would just nod or dismiss him with an exaggerated ‘Okay’ or shrug. It was protocol to check all our details such as address and phone numbers so the school could store the information in the database. I was handing mine in and he suddenly leaned over and pointed out that my parents live at the same address. I did my exaggerated okay then he pointed out that his parents were divorced and that’s why they had different addresses. I didn’t really care and didn’t think out it until I asked him when he first liked me. It was so weird remembering that moment back then and right now. I didn’t realise that boys have such good memories (especially on things that meant so much to them) and as a young girl who thought she was in love that was a sweet realisation. If only boys would grow up and stay this why instead of being jerks. He was my first boyfriend so I find it natural to keep coming back to him and I am warning you now the stories I have about him are to gag for.
I know I haven’t been as active as I would like and I apologise for that with all my heart. I try my best to write and schedule posts when I can but I know I have been failing slightly on that front. That is why I have decided to open a series for this year that talks about my past adventures and things I have already discovered but haven’t shared with anyone. This probably defeats the purpose of this whole blog but right now, I feel compelled to write about the little things I still remember (before adulting fully takes over).
This series (still deciding on the name) will start on the 25th of February which marks my one year anniversary of The Undiscovered Adventures. It will talk about past relationships, friendships, conflicts etc… that are part of my life and the reason I made this blog in the first place. I have always been a quiet person and an introvert but I pride myself on being creative and I love telling stories. I have always wanted to do big things but recently I have come to realise that in order to do big things, I need to remember the small things first. I want to tell you my story on this platform, on my blog. I want to re-live my life as a 21 year old looking back on her life so far. I think that personally I am at the stage of my life where I tend to feel stuck and start to wonder more and more if maybe this is all life has for me but I can feel that there are so many opportunities available for me and many more adventures to discover and I can’t wait to see what’s to come.
So, please come and join me in revisiting past untold stories and finding out how these now discovered stories defined me, a 21 years old aspiring blogger who is going to make big things happen! Watch this space.
Peace and Love ✌🏽❤️
Lately, I have been feeling undervalued and overwhelmed with everything that is going on. I don’t feel right and my heart feels broken. I always try to smile it out and remember that it will get better soon. But then soon turns to someday and someday turns to one day and then that one day just seems so far away. My shoulders feels heavy like I have a lot on my plate but I had just one week of vacation so that doesn’t make sense. My mind was so clear and trouble free during the one week break but now I just don’t feel happy. I feel sad and angry and almost pessimistic about everything. I don’t want to say I’m depressed but my anxiety just feels like it’s taking over every part of me and as much as I want them to go away- they don’t. I can’t even pin-point what’s making me feel this way. I think that’s the worse part. I don’t know what it is and it’s making me even more anxious.
I wish I know what is making me feel this way. I wish I can figure it out because I feel I could just cave in any minute now.