There are lessons we need to learn
Yet we need the money to earn
So we can buy and we can strive
Living a life to prove we can survive
We grew older wishing we were small
Knowing that every step could lead to a fall
A fall that a kiss or a plaster cannot fix
And then having to inspect our bag of tricks
For a miracle or a hope, for our dream
Why can all we hear is the scream
Of our thoughts crying in pain
Of our hearts going insane
From all the feelings we have suppressed
Then people asking why are we depressed
They don’t understand what goes in our mind
Of all the dangerous moments that follows us behind
How we quiver in conflict and avoid fear
How we fake a smile and stop the tear
That could flood the bath and our lungs
How we drunk the bleach more than once
The times we held a knife or the rope
Praying for a single strand of hope
To take our hand and away from the edge
Of the glass, the pills or the ledge
To tell us that it will be okay
That one day the anxieties will go away
But for now, know that you and I are not alone
Please speak to someone and dial a number on your phone
Yesterday, Today or Tommorrow may not seem fine
But please talk to someone on the suicide helpline.
We all have anxieties and are going through a lot in our lives that can seem overwhelming. Please know that someone loves you and would be happy to listen to whatever you are going through, even if it is some stranger on the phone. There are a lot of information on the numbers you can call to reach the suicide helpline team in your country.
You are not alone, even if it feels like that now. You are loved.
I am so sorry that I have been away for so long. As I always say, busy, busy, busy. The last two months of 2017 was so hectic that I have put this blog on the back burner. All the things I wanted to write about have either been half written or have titles and not written at all. So I apologise that I haven’t been as active as I would have liked to be. (end of apology)
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!
I cannot believe that we survived 2017 and we are just a few days into 2018. A New Year means a lot of things. The New Year is the time many people will say: NEW YEAR, NEW ME. A time when we will be promising to lose weight, to travel the world or even create a new identity altogether. A time for making resolutions that cannot be resolved or semi-give up on it completely because let’s be honest, how long was it really going to last? 2018 is a new year for a clean slate and where we can do and say and think up new things for another 365 days.
I have decided to do some resolutions this year because why not? and because I really wanted to get into the spirit of the New Year. I tried to pick resolutions that I know I can do and will actually accomplish.
- Drink more water: I feel that I haven’t been that keen on drinking water (even though that is all I have ever drunk since I was a teenager because I was a good child who didn’t want to break the ‘NO SOFT DRINKS’ rule). I want to drink more water this year because I have heard it makes you have good skin and keeps you hydrated. The goal will be 1 glass when I wake up, 2 glasses after each meal and 1 glass before bed.
- Exercise more: This is kind of linked to losing weight (because I have gained 4 kilos during the Christmas break thanks to my mom’s cooking) and I want to get back into shape and maybe lose more than I had before I gained some back. I am not going to put how often or a certain number to it (yet) but I definitely want to exercise more this year.
- Shut down Facebook (again): I had this revelation last year when I gave Facebook up for Lent2017 that I didn’t need FB as much as I thought I did. Plus I really think that Facebook should retire. I know that FB was cool at the start when it was being hyped up to be as big as My Space but now it has been meh! (I don’t even have the app on my devices anymore). Facebook owns other apps (like Instagram) that are fairing more in terms of audience participation and being a social media platform. I aim to shut Facebook down in time for Lent and move on to focus on my other social media accounts.
- More Self Learning: I learnt a lesson from breaking up with someone last year and it is that I still have a lot to learn about myself. I have things to figure out and things I would like to do on my own (without the stress or hassle of having to worry about another person). This year will the year I will fully get to enjoy being single and finding out more about who I am and what I want to become.
- More Blogging: I really want to make an effort to do more blogging and keep improving my blog and getting to meet other bloggers and readers. I think making connections is great and as a person who isn’t into physically travelling I want to still be able to travel but on the internet. I want to meet other people and get more ideas on what to write and just be able to share more undiscovered adventures with everyone.
So. that is my five resolutions for 2018 and hopefully, I will be able to stick to them. I hope you all have a lovely 2018. I am so excited for another year of blogging.
Peace and Love,
If you could do it again, would you restart?
Back to the day with an open heart
When you had innocence and a youthful glow
When you believed relationships will work out and grow
To the day, he kissed you in the rain
To now, where you ache from the pain
To the day he visited you, just because
Now, he is telling you your endless flaws
How you could never do anything right
Why is it so dark when it is still light?
How other girls would worship at his feet
Was this really the guy you were destined to meet?
Remember the day he was at work, you’re all alone
Went to take a shower and left your phone
He came home and found some texts
Flashing endlessly from your ex
He stormed into the room and broke down the door
Pulled you from the shower and threw you on the floor
He screamed at you and said ‘You’re Dead!’
Then grabbed the shower and struck you on the head
Multiple times until you start to bleed
He continued on despite the multiple times you plead
You just laid there for who knows how long
Not even knowing what the heck you did wrong
The following day, everything seemed fine
He made breakfast for you: the girl who is mine
You never discussed what happened, he won’t tell
Warned you if you go against your vows, you’ll go to hell
Since then more blood was shed and seen
He hit you again yesterday, number seventeen
You want to let go, you want to leave
If it wasn’t for the news, you just received
Maybe if you tell him, you will no longer be a bother
How in nine months time he will become a father
You will be happy and all the hurt will wash away
You will be an amazing family one day
Unfortunately, this story will have to be cut short
Because he demanded that you immediately abort
Your unborn child barely two weeks old
You shook your head and refused to do what you’re told
You stood up to him and said ‘NO’
Then went to pack your bags so you can go
Far away from this house and from him
That’s when his patience started to dim
He pinned you against the wall told you to reconsider
You pushed him away and BANG he pulled the trigger
You fell on the bed and saw blood on your chest
Then place a hand on your belly and caressed
The human inside you that never got a chance
To see the world or experience romance
From someone who knows how a woman should be treat
You close your eyes and feel defeated
But deep down a part of you can now flee
You are now after a long time finally free
If you could do it again would you restart?
If you knew it all ends with an empty heart…
A girl who decided to promise her life to Death
In twenty-four hours she’ll take her final breath
She needs someone to show her the light
To free her and hold her tight
She stares into the dark, swimming in red
If you don’t go now, she’ll soon be dead
She’s crying softly, here comes the rain
Death is knocking, she’s gonna go insane
Come to her and she might let you in
If you don’t, then Death will win!
*for World Suicide Awareness Day*
I once had a fish named Freckles
He loved nothing more than doing heckles
Once the dog said: “Why are you so tiny?”
Freckles replied: “What’s it to you, Whiny?”
The cat once told him he is about to be eaten
Freckles stared him down, he wasn’t about to be beaten
He got out of the fish tank and clapped his fins
He walked towards Tommy the Cat and gave a devilish grin
We haven’t seen the cat in years but we found his third paw
Inside Freckles fish tank sitting there with his nails from his claw
Freckles was using them to clean his teeth and scratch his ass
The parrot stopped talking, Freckles must have given him some sass
One day, Freckles went all green and he got bigger and bigger
Then we saw the rat climb on his fish tank and pull the trigger
Of the plug, the water began to be drained until Freckles was on the floor
Soon, my dear Freckles was face to face with the slightly strained toilet door
My sister lifted it up and down went Freckles in the swirly, murky toilet water
Then she started screaming as the lid lifted up and something sharp caught her
There stood a scaly beast that reached the roof and its eyes looked at us two
I promise you, my reader, this story is one hundred percent, absolutely true!
So I have a now have a full grown CROCODILE named Freckles
He ate my sister but he is really good at heckles.
How do you do it every single day?
A piece of your heart you have to give away
Pleasing everyone is not the best thing
Pleasing yourself has a nicer ring
In this world, we need more laughter and smiles
Nothing can compare to how the sun shines for miles
Every day you can make a change by living a positive life
Simply ignore the bad memories and moments of strife
So, you can think more about yourself, never less
…Don’t allow others to downplay your happiness!
After a long break from blogging, I have missed not only writing on here but also missed sharing my poems with all of you. I never thought so many people would actually like my poems but I am incredibly touched that a lot of you have reached out and taking a liking to my poems. I have actually only two more poems that I have previously written left in my “poetry bank” and I will be sharing one at the end of this week and the last one early next week. I am really sad that I have shared all my poems on my blog but also happy that this will give me more reasons to write more.
I am planning on sharing a poem with you at least once a week. I have a few ideas already on what I could base my poems on (mostly things that have happened in my life so far) but I would really appreciate and welcome any ideas that you guys might have that you would like me to write about. So please comment your ideas below so I can have a look at them and get writing!
Once again, thank you so much to all of you for continually supporting me and encouraging me to write my poems for you.
Peace and Love xo