The Influence of Women

I felt I needed to write about this not only because I am a woman but because there have been so many times I felt I have been silenced in fear of saying something wrong.

Over the last several months, the world has been discussing the sexual harassment accusations and scandals surrounding some of the most powerful and well-known men of the film industry. Men we have grown up idolizing with posters on our walls, men we have respected for so many years and careers we have followed and still do. Men have run the film industry for many many years and often we discuss men as directors, producers, cameramen, filmmakers and leading actors. Men have been praised for and paid more compared to women. Men get the better roles and to be honest most roles in the film industry. It wasn’t until recently that women have been getting publicity in term of their roles within the industry that is probably down to the topic of gender equality. 

Women have always been the supportive gender, never the leading. Women are expected to look pretty and be objectified because men say so. Women are expected to act in a certain way and never get in the way of men. But with these scandals and all because of a man named Harvey Weinstein, women are rewriting all the things they have never had the courage to do or say because they can. These brave women have been coming forward and finding their voices to talk about the most disgusting, most vile and most sickening things some men have been capable and frankly been allowed to do to them and their bodies. Forceful things. Demeaning things. Things we once thought were too taboo to talk about. Well not anymore. Women have found their voice and they are making a stand and as a woman, I find it so empowering and inspiring that this is happening right now. 

I cannot compare myself to what these women have been subjected to and I will not imagine the horrific things they had to do for men like Weinstein. I am saying that all men are horrible human beings because that would be an exaggeration to mine and other women’s stories. But there have been things in each of their stories that I can relate to. Most of my relationships have been good but I have come out of them as someone I barely recognised and not in a good way. There have been points in my relationships when I have been called a liar because I was 13 and told his friends he showed me his penis and they, of course, took his side. A time when I found out that he had been seeing someone else behind my back like I could be replaced in an instant. The times when I said no and he shakes his head like I’m the one in the wrong. Or when I begged him to stay and he brushed it off and said ‘we’re just not meant to be, you’ll find someone else’ and then comes back 3 months later telling me he loves me and I took him back. I loved them all but looking back, I never realised how dependent I was to hand them over the control, times when I knew I was right but bit my tongue in the fear I will get shut down anyway. I always took the blame and I always took them back because I am willing to compromise my feelings so they’ll stay in the same way these women were petrified in losing their jobs so they chose to compromise also. 

I feel so proud of these women and the change they are making to the world not only in defining gender but defining the power and influence of women. Six months ago, I ended a 4-year relationship with a guy I promised myself would be the one I wanted to marry. It was an amazing relationship and we had our ups and downs but we stuck by each other even though we were 3 hours apart for nearly 3 years. I ended it because he was moving to another country and I had to admit that it was not going to work out. He also told me that I never made effort and I should have taken his money and come visited him. He told me that I am in the wrong and we need to talk about this issue more often. I told him that I wish him good luck, I hope we meet each other again one day and then I broke up with him. I thought I would regret it and I felt so disappointed it ended kind of bitter but honestly, when I woke up the next morning, it was like a huge weight was lifted off me and I smiled so wholeheartedly.

Two months after that, the news about Weinstein came in and floods of women started to speak up and they continue to do so as evidenced by the Golden Globes last night. Six months on, I am writing to you about the influence of women and I can confidently say I made one of the best decisions in my life. I can breathe and laugh and I have never felt more me than I am today.

As Oprah said last night at the Golden Globes ‘A New Day is on the Horizon’ and damn I have a feeling we will see a lot of women in every new day!

 

Condensed Milk Was My Undoing

Since the holiday, I have been eating a lot of things and (without shame) enjoying every bit of it. The holidays have always been the time of the year when I happily enjoy eating a lot and not really caring if I gained weight. But this year there was some worry if I’m going to gain back the weight I lost several months ago. I was alright at Christmas and took care of what I ate but the New Year was like food paradise. I ate every single dish that my mom cooked and within the next two days, I could feel the weight coming back and for the first time, I felt a little bit disappointed that I have gained the weight back so fast as it took me to lose it.

That is why I am so determined to lose it now because knowing me, I will have the ‘there is still tomorrow to start’ mentality. I need to lose this weight now before it gets out of control. I had already started exercising in the mornings with the dumbbells and on the stationary bike but then my stomach and my persistent and easily tempted sweet tooth saw the holy grail of calorie intake staring back at me.

The can of half full condensed milk!

Yes, CONDENSED MILK! It was right there and tempting me to have a spoonful but secretly knowing I will finish a quarter of it in the span of three days. I honestly do not know what came over me and as I write this blog post, I feel so ashamed. I have tried to avoid finishing it and I knew deep down that if I had even a teaspoon, I will get addicted to it! I can put my hand up now and admit to having a slight relapse to eating condensed milk.

But since the New Year’s food is nearly all gone (thank God), the exercise and lessening food intake will also follow and I can lose some weight and feel more healthy again. Wish me luck everyone and here is to a healthy 2018. 

 

2018 New Year’s Resolutions

I am so sorry that I have been away for so long. As I always say, busy, busy, busy. The last two months of 2017 was so hectic that I have put this blog on the back burner. All the things I wanted to write about have either been half written or have titles and not written at all. So I apologise that I haven’t been as active as I would have liked to be. (end of apology) 

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

I cannot believe that we survived 2017 and we are just a few days into 2018. A New Year means a lot of things. The New Year is the time many people will say: NEW YEAR, NEW ME. A time when we will be promising to lose weight, to travel the world or even create a new identity altogether. A time for making resolutions that cannot be resolved or semi-give up on it completely because let’s be honest, how long was it really going to last? 2018 is a new year for a clean slate and where we can do and say and think up new things for another 365 days. 

I have decided to do some resolutions this year because why not? and because I really wanted to get into the spirit of the New Year. I tried to pick resolutions that I know I can do and will actually accomplish. 

  1. Drink more water: I feel that I haven’t been that keen on drinking water (even though that is all I have ever drunk since I was a teenager because I was a good child who didn’t want to break the ‘NO SOFT DRINKS’ rule). I want to drink more water this year because I have heard it makes you have good skin and keeps you hydrated. The goal will be 1 glass when I wake up, 2 glasses after each meal and 1 glass before bed. 
  2. Exercise more: This is kind of linked to losing weight (because I have gained 4 kilos during the Christmas break thanks to my mom’s cooking) and I want to get back into shape and maybe lose more than I had before I gained some back. I am not going to put how often or a certain number to it (yet) but I definitely want to exercise more this year.
  3. Shut down Facebook (again): I had this revelation last year when I gave Facebook up for Lent2017 that I didn’t need FB as much as I thought I did. Plus I really think that Facebook should retire. I know that FB was cool at the start when it was being hyped up to be as big as My Space but now it has been meh! (I don’t even have the app on my devices anymore). Facebook owns other apps (like Instagram) that are fairing more in terms of audience participation and being a social media platform. I aim to shut Facebook down in time for Lent and move on to focus on my other social media accounts. 
  4. More Self Learning: I learnt a lesson from breaking up with someone last year and it is that I still have a lot to learn about myself. I have things to figure out and things I would like to do on my own (without the stress or hassle of having to worry about another person). This year will the year I will fully get to enjoy being single and finding out more about who I am and what I want to become. 
  5. More Blogging: I really want to make an effort to do more blogging and keep improving my blog and getting to meet other bloggers and readers. I think making connections is great and as a person who isn’t into physically travelling I want to still be able to travel but on the internet. I want to meet other people and get more ideas on what to write and just be able to share more undiscovered adventures with everyone.

So. that is my five resolutions for 2018 and hopefully, I will be able to stick to them. I hope you all have a lovely 2018. I am so excited for another year of blogging. 

Peace and Love, 

Trisha xox

Determined

So many things have changed I have lost count
So many things to do and it’s starting to mount
Changes have come and doors start to open
The time has passed and so much has happened
Life has been hectic I had to run to keep up
Gotta keep on running until I reach the top
Now I am here there is no chance of slowing
Too much perseverance gotta keep on going!

Too Much Hair

I cannot believe I am saying this, but I really want to cut my hair. I don’t normally want to cut my hair because I prefer it long and it gives me a lot of ways to style it and make it (somewhat) pretty. But since the hot weather has arrived (well it comes and goes but summer is definitely on its way), I have been running errands from going to job interviews and getting the house cleaned, it has been really getting in the way (and all over the floor) and I just feel like it is time to chop it off.

This past month of looking for jobs and getting my results feels like the end and the start of something new, so it is natural to feel the need to want something difference or some sort of change. I feel like I have overcome a lot of things, not just this past month but for the last three years and definitely having a haircut would be another good way to mark the achievements I have gain and a nod to a more fresher and brand new chapter in my life. 

Farewell Long Hair, we shall meet again one day but right now make way for a new (shorter) hair-do! 

Back at Blogging

Hi everyone!

I am now back at blogging after almost a month of resisting the urge to write articles/poems/stuff on here. I really missed blogging every day and hopefully, now that decisions have been made and life has settled a bit I can come back and carry on writing more stuff and the adventures I have been on (I have so much news to tell you, just wait and see). The summer is approaching even if it is raining and grey here in England (but that’s hardly a surprise) and there is so many things I have already done and about to do. The month off was definitely worth it and I am looking forward to a summer of more writing and exploring.

Stay tuned for all the posts I am going to make and I cannot wait to get you all up to speed on all the adventures I have discovered this past month and land of the unknown that is ready to be found!

Peace and Love xo

Trisha

First Application Feels

I recently applied for a Digital Marketing Apprenticeship that is situated in Cambridge two weeks ago. I applied because I woke up and just felt worried about what I will do after university. I know I had no experience whatsoever in terms of work and I was seriously getting anxious that I will never find work. That’s when I thought maybe I should try and apply for an apprenticeship first instead as it will help me gain work experience in a field I am interested in and is also paying me. So I logged onto my LinkedIn account and found an advertisement for it almost immediately and just applied by putting my details in and sent it off. I was notified instantly that my application has been received and I will be getting a quick phone call that will clarify my details and the various work opportunities available to me.

As soon as I saw that email, I had a surge of emotions go through me from the fluttery butterflies circling the inside of my stomach to the worry of having to answer the phone that could determine my future and the jumping up and down excitement that I actually applied for something that I could be the beginning of the everything. The feels were on overload and for the next few days, my phone was set on vibrate as I waited for the phone call. The waiting game began and continued on for two weeks but after two weeks, the phone stayed silent.

The amount of time I spent watching the phone felt like a waste of time at first but I also realized that this is the first work-related application I have ever submitted in my life and I would say that is a personal achievement for me. The fact that I had the courage to put myself out there and apply, makes me even more determined to continue looking for other opportunities available out there and one of these days I will find the right one or maybe they will find me. It’s all just a waiting game but hopefully, it’s a worthwhile one.

Now, it is time to go back and look at the hundreds and thousands of jobs out there and keep hitting that apply button!