The Influence of Women

I felt I needed to write about this not only because I am a woman but because there have been so many times I felt I have been silenced in fear of saying something wrong.

Over the last several months, the world has been discussing the sexual harassment accusations and scandals surrounding some of the most powerful and well-known men of the film industry. Men we have grown up idolizing with posters on our walls, men we have respected for so many years and careers we have followed and still do. Men have run the film industry for many many years and often we discuss men as directors, producers, cameramen, filmmakers and leading actors. Men have been praised for and paid more compared to women. Men get the better roles and to be honest most roles in the film industry. It wasn’t until recently that women have been getting publicity in term of their roles within the industry that is probably down to the topic of gender equality. 

Women have always been the supportive gender, never the leading. Women are expected to look pretty and be objectified because men say so. Women are expected to act in a certain way and never get in the way of men. But with these scandals and all because of a man named Harvey Weinstein, women are rewriting all the things they have never had the courage to do or say because they can. These brave women have been coming forward and finding their voices to talk about the most disgusting, most vile and most sickening things some men have been capable and frankly been allowed to do to them and their bodies. Forceful things. Demeaning things. Things we once thought were too taboo to talk about. Well not anymore. Women have found their voice and they are making a stand and as a woman, I find it so empowering and inspiring that this is happening right now. 

I cannot compare myself to what these women have been subjected to and I will not imagine the horrific things they had to do for men like Weinstein. I am saying that all men are horrible human beings because that would be an exaggeration to mine and other women’s stories. But there have been things in each of their stories that I can relate to. Most of my relationships have been good but I have come out of them as someone I barely recognised and not in a good way. There have been points in my relationships when I have been called a liar because I was 13 and told his friends he showed me his penis and they, of course, took his side. A time when I found out that he had been seeing someone else behind my back like I could be replaced in an instant. The times when I said no and he shakes his head like I’m the one in the wrong. Or when I begged him to stay and he brushed it off and said ‘we’re just not meant to be, you’ll find someone else’ and then comes back 3 months later telling me he loves me and I took him back. I loved them all but looking back, I never realised how dependent I was to hand them over the control, times when I knew I was right but bit my tongue in the fear I will get shut down anyway. I always took the blame and I always took them back because I am willing to compromise my feelings so they’ll stay in the same way these women were petrified in losing their jobs so they chose to compromise also. 

I feel so proud of these women and the change they are making to the world not only in defining gender but defining the power and influence of women. Six months ago, I ended a 4-year relationship with a guy I promised myself would be the one I wanted to marry. It was an amazing relationship and we had our ups and downs but we stuck by each other even though we were 3 hours apart for nearly 3 years. I ended it because he was moving to another country and I had to admit that it was not going to work out. He also told me that I never made effort and I should have taken his money and come visited him. He told me that I am in the wrong and we need to talk about this issue more often. I told him that I wish him good luck, I hope we meet each other again one day and then I broke up with him. I thought I would regret it and I felt so disappointed it ended kind of bitter but honestly, when I woke up the next morning, it was like a huge weight was lifted off me and I smiled so wholeheartedly.

Two months after that, the news about Weinstein came in and floods of women started to speak up and they continue to do so as evidenced by the Golden Globes last night. Six months on, I am writing to you about the influence of women and I can confidently say I made one of the best decisions in my life. I can breathe and laugh and I have never felt more me than I am today.

As Oprah said last night at the Golden Globes ‘A New Day is on the Horizon’ and damn I have a feeling we will see a lot of women in every new day!

 

Condensed Milk Was My Undoing

Since the holiday, I have been eating a lot of things and (without shame) enjoying every bit of it. The holidays have always been the time of the year when I happily enjoy eating a lot and not really caring if I gained weight. But this year there was some worry if I’m going to gain back the weight I lost several months ago. I was alright at Christmas and took care of what I ate but the New Year was like food paradise. I ate every single dish that my mom cooked and within the next two days, I could feel the weight coming back and for the first time, I felt a little bit disappointed that I have gained the weight back so fast as it took me to lose it.

That is why I am so determined to lose it now because knowing me, I will have the ‘there is still tomorrow to start’ mentality. I need to lose this weight now before it gets out of control. I had already started exercising in the mornings with the dumbbells and on the stationary bike but then my stomach and my persistent and easily tempted sweet tooth saw the holy grail of calorie intake staring back at me.

The can of half full condensed milk!

Yes, CONDENSED MILK! It was right there and tempting me to have a spoonful but secretly knowing I will finish a quarter of it in the span of three days. I honestly do not know what came over me and as I write this blog post, I feel so ashamed. I have tried to avoid finishing it and I knew deep down that if I had even a teaspoon, I will get addicted to it! I can put my hand up now and admit to having a slight relapse to eating condensed milk.

But since the New Year’s food is nearly all gone (thank God), the exercise and lessening food intake will also follow and I can lose some weight and feel more healthy again. Wish me luck everyone and here is to a healthy 2018. 

 

2018 New Year’s Resolutions

I am so sorry that I have been away for so long. As I always say, busy, busy, busy. The last two months of 2017 was so hectic that I have put this blog on the back burner. All the things I wanted to write about have either been half written or have titles and not written at all. So I apologise that I haven’t been as active as I would have liked to be. (end of apology) 

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

I cannot believe that we survived 2017 and we are just a few days into 2018. A New Year means a lot of things. The New Year is the time many people will say: NEW YEAR, NEW ME. A time when we will be promising to lose weight, to travel the world or even create a new identity altogether. A time for making resolutions that cannot be resolved or semi-give up on it completely because let’s be honest, how long was it really going to last? 2018 is a new year for a clean slate and where we can do and say and think up new things for another 365 days. 

I have decided to do some resolutions this year because why not? and because I really wanted to get into the spirit of the New Year. I tried to pick resolutions that I know I can do and will actually accomplish. 

  1. Drink more water: I feel that I haven’t been that keen on drinking water (even though that is all I have ever drunk since I was a teenager because I was a good child who didn’t want to break the ‘NO SOFT DRINKS’ rule). I want to drink more water this year because I have heard it makes you have good skin and keeps you hydrated. The goal will be 1 glass when I wake up, 2 glasses after each meal and 1 glass before bed. 
  2. Exercise more: This is kind of linked to losing weight (because I have gained 4 kilos during the Christmas break thanks to my mom’s cooking) and I want to get back into shape and maybe lose more than I had before I gained some back. I am not going to put how often or a certain number to it (yet) but I definitely want to exercise more this year.
  3. Shut down Facebook (again): I had this revelation last year when I gave Facebook up for Lent2017 that I didn’t need FB as much as I thought I did. Plus I really think that Facebook should retire. I know that FB was cool at the start when it was being hyped up to be as big as My Space but now it has been meh! (I don’t even have the app on my devices anymore). Facebook owns other apps (like Instagram) that are fairing more in terms of audience participation and being a social media platform. I aim to shut Facebook down in time for Lent and move on to focus on my other social media accounts. 
  4. More Self Learning: I learnt a lesson from breaking up with someone last year and it is that I still have a lot to learn about myself. I have things to figure out and things I would like to do on my own (without the stress or hassle of having to worry about another person). This year will the year I will fully get to enjoy being single and finding out more about who I am and what I want to become. 
  5. More Blogging: I really want to make an effort to do more blogging and keep improving my blog and getting to meet other bloggers and readers. I think making connections is great and as a person who isn’t into physically travelling I want to still be able to travel but on the internet. I want to meet other people and get more ideas on what to write and just be able to share more undiscovered adventures with everyone.

So. that is my five resolutions for 2018 and hopefully, I will be able to stick to them. I hope you all have a lovely 2018. I am so excited for another year of blogging. 

Peace and Love, 

Trisha xox

Facebook Could Soon Face Extinction

Since coming back to Facebook after my detox for Lent 2017 and making a new account I have noticed a strange atmosphere to how people have been using (or should I say lack of using) the once-hyped social media platform. Back in my high school days, everyone were obsessed with turning 13 because that is the legal age to sign up for a Facebook account (even though most people would lie so they can make a profile even before they turn 13) and it was anticipated and cool once you have make a profile and made a lot of “friends”. I remember a time when my sister cried over the end of the world with the prime reason that she will never get the chance to sign up for Facebook (she hates it now haha).The social media platform took over from MySpace (which seems to be an ancient tale now in the more modern era) and it became a giant amongst other social media sites.

But now forward to present day and here I am more bored than ever with Facebook. No one is no longer on it 24/7 and those that are rarely post anything useful. People only post about major events like holidays or when they get pregnant or tied the knot. The games of FarmVille or Sims have already been forgotten and replaced with games that require you to interact with “friends” that you haven’t spoken to in 5 years. You end up liking random stuff after stuff and would scroll through hundreds of rubbish articles. It has become so repetitive that you groan at the screen every time your well-trained fingers automatically clicks on it. Facebook had tried so hard to keep up with the likes of Snapchat and Instagram when they included filters and Facebook stories (but unfortunately was too late in catching with the trends). I hate to be so pessimistic about this but soon I think Facebook will become extinct.

This will be probably not that surprising when it finally crashes down. Many people have been telling me that they will hardly miss it (even my parents refers to it as the evilest out of all the social media websites). I think Facebook has lived long enough and could very well join MySpace on the dark side of the online world. Give it another two years and maybe soon people will have forgotten this once loved social media phenomenon. I have come to realise that It was probably a bad mistake to make another account if I am just going to delete it again lol. Facebook could soon be joining the dinosaurs.

I mean think about it. Facebook has resulted in asking people for their nudes to ensure that those nude pictures don’t appear on their platform. Someone working at Facebook will be staring at your private areas and playing memory match in an instance that someone else (like a vengeful ex) posts it on Facebook. Think about it carefully.

Facebook will turn 14 next year (a year older than the required age for someone to sign up for the site) and I think it would be a good time for adolescent Facebook to retire or at least take a break. 

I’m Glad You Found Someone Else… Cause It Wasn’t Meant To Be.

What I learned from a Job Interview Everyone Else Wanted For Me

Yay, I graduated but now what? The question that goes through my mind (and hopefully other graduates’ minds) once they have walked the stage and gotten that piece of paper. What am I gonna do now that ai have gotten a degree? I hated to think about it but damn, I should have really thought about it sooner. But I have never been a decisive person and making decisions takes a lot of planning. Of course, I have a job now and I really enjoy working there as it is minimum hours and a late start (but it also means minimum wages). As much s you love a job, you also need the money to survive and buy necessities like shaving cream and driving lessons (yes I know, I still haven’t booked those yet but that’s for another blog post!). So, I have been looking at other job options that are part-time that I can do alongside my current job role.

I found several jobs in the local area and out of the ten jobs I applied for, one came to the forefront and we clung to it. The job was at a great location, at a top-notch building and the pay was something anyone would have jumped at. They have shortlisted me and invited me in for an interview. Everyone was very excited and of course, I was too (as well as nervous). They all wanted this job for me and my sister kept telling me “You better at this, Trisha”. But as you know from the title of this blog post, I didn’t get it.

At first, I was disappointed and upset that they didn’t pick me and I couldn’t get the reasons why. I doubted myself and looked up articles on my employers don’t pick you. I looked over my preparation (which wasn’t that great if I’m honest as I had higher priorities in my mind at the time) and then looked at alternative scenarios I could have done differently. Maybe I should have been selfish and focused on my interview preparation rather than spending my time making Vanessa’s surprise birthday as best as she deserves to have. Maybe if I didn’t spend so much money on it, I wouldn’t be looking for another job or maybe I should have forfeited my own sister’s happiness so I can get a job that pays more. But I know deep down, I didn’t want that. Vanessa deserves a lot (even if she is mean sometimes) and I won’t ever sacrifice someone’s happiness just so I can have more money. After all, happiness or money doesn’t grow on trees and money doesn’t make you happy, your family does.

Besides, as good as the job sounded it probably wouldn’t have lasted anyways because I know that this was the first interview where I showed my true self. I shared my opinions and was the most talkative I have ever been in my job interviews so far. I answered the questions with honesty and creatively. I admitted my faults and highlighted my ability to be humble and approachable. But in the end, my lack of customer experience and skills let me down. Well (not to sound bitter or salty) but I think that it really wasn’t meant to be and I am so relieved that they found the right person to suit that position and it wasn’t me.

After I got the rejection email, I stared at it and I felt disappointed that I didn’t get it and the first thing I thought was that “you idiot Trisha! You let them down”. I was so upset that my family will be upset but deep down I ended up crying in relief because as much as they would have wanted me to have that job, in truth I didn’t want it. So it didn’t matter what went wrong or what I could have done differently because a part of me knew I wasn’t going to be happy there. This was just like a relationship that you tried to make work but you knew that it wasn’t the highest priority so you clung onto it hoping it will work out in the end but it just wasn’t meant to be. You go through what went wrong and you come to the conclusion that if they are not going to appreciate you for qualities you have then thank the Lord, he didn’t will for it to continue any further and you can move on.

This was definitely a learning experience and I will wholeheartedly take all their feedbacks on board. I wish them all the best. As much as this may cause some sadness, I’m glad I didn’t allow myself to settle for something far less than I deserve.

~You will be rewarded with a Great Honour~

Today, I am going to be graduating with a FIRST CLASS HONOURS!!! I still cannot believe it that I got a First Class grade.When I first saw it, I couldn’t quite process it that I got a 69.83% (which just barely made the first class grade) and the words next to it had First Class Honours. I just kept staring at it and shaking my head and I was really speechless. I never thought I would see those words on the screen. I was very certain that I would get a 2:1 because I calculated it over and over again (hoping it would be a 1st class) but finally accepting that I shouldn’t have even thought about getting a high grade and I am just happy with a 2.1. I already told a lot of my family members that I will get a B and soon I was confident that I would get a 2.1 (which secretly made me feel disappointed) but I moved on and just accepted it.

But those words on the screen when I saw it really brought tears to my eyes. The three years have been a huge adventure and like I said before, it wasn’t the easiest or the most fun thing you could do in your life (at least for me lol)  but I took it as a chance to prove myself that I can do it and grow. I didn’t really get high grades so I wasn’t looking for the top grade at all and most of the lecturers/ tutors warned us that not a lot of people will get firsts, so I didn’t have high hopes for myself. I cruised through the first year and in the second year and cruised even further in my third year, hoping for at least a 2.1. As a person who also missed out on things, I like to keep to myself and just jump hoping to land safely at least a metre from the edge and I treated university the same way. I did my best and if it wasn’t enough then I had to accept it and move on. I never shared my grades with anyone (unless they ask) but it always plays over and over again in my mind that I will never get a top grade and that always stayed with me until the results day. I still cannot believe I got a First Class Honour!

Getting this grade means so much to me for several reasons. Firstly, as I mentioned above, I am not the person who was highly praised for being academically smart and most of my grades especially A-Levels was so crap. I even had my doubts if I will even make it into university. But now, I have officially finished on a high note and I couldn’t have been more proud of myself. After all the stress, crying, headaches and sleepless nights, I can now breathe a sigh of relief that I am officially finished with all the essays and I am officially finishing with a First Class Honours. All those times, I stood people up and told them I was too busy to meet them (cause I was doing some last minute essays lol), the times I shut myself in my room and forced Vanessa to stay with me during some of my all-nighters so I would have some company, the times she was annoying and told me ‘It will be fine, Trisha’ and ‘You need to calm down!’ (which followed with a pillow to her face and on one occasion I dug my nails into her arms- I said I was sorry and you can barely see the scarring hahaha) and the times I handed every essay in thinking that it is the best I could and it is up to God what grade I get. I am one of those people who doubted herself constantly and worried so much about the future but always kept it to myself cause I don’t want to bother people. People would tell me it would be fine and I will nod my head (even if deep down I doubt it will be lol) and just get on with things. I never thought of the possibility of getting a first in anything and even though I would get excited when I got a first in some of my essays, I tell myself that I need to tone down the excitement so I won’t be disappointed. But damn, I did it and got an unexpected First Class Honours.

Another reason this means so much to me is that getting a high grade means I have ticked off one of the things on my bucket list, which is graduating from university and graduating with the highest grade possible. I know that going to university is a privilege as my parents always tell us, education is something people cannot take away from you and something you can never lose. So many people dream of going to university and they cannot afford to, so I feel so blessed that I stuck with it and finished university. I know this also means so much to my family that I am going to be graduating and there are not enough words I can write and say to thank them enough for quietly supporting me.

To my parents, thank you for always pushing me to be the best I could be and showering me with all the things I want and need. My parents work so hard every day to earn money to pay for all the necessities of life and they never wanted anything back except the promise from us to work hard and be a good person. Nothing can ever repay the unconditional love my parents have given me all my life but I hope now that I am going to be graduating, I can share with them the pride of this great accomplishment and a toast to the start of a fruitful future that they have always believed I would have.

To my sisters, firstly to Vanessa, you have always been annoying and we have had a lot of fights and I am sure there are still more to come. You have always made fun of me (mostly about my ex-boyfriends) but you have also brought some fun into my life by being my volunteer PA by bringing all my stuff for me up and down the stairs. Even if I injured you in the process or told you to be quiet, I always appreciated your encouraging words and your willingness to help me realise that I can do it! To Beatrice, thank you for helping me make peace with my inner child. With all the stress, I was always so serious about getting things done to prove that I have become an adult but with all the times spent with you, you have helped me take a break from being all grown up and watch cartoons and play childish games I have missed so much (plus it gave me a reason not to do my essays).

To all my aunts, uncles and cousins, you have always been there with supportive advice and compliments and even if we do not get to see or speak to each other as much as we would like, I know you are cheering me on with great enthusiasm. To all my Lolas, you have taken care of me since I was little and watched me grow into the person I am now. You have passed on your wisdom to my parents and they have passed it on to me and that has helped shaped my values on life and the power of prayer. I know we don’t go to church as much as we should but I also know that all of you always pray for me, for my health, my happiness and for my studies. I am so glad that both of our prayers have been answered and I am graduating with the highest honours. I will send some pictures over so I can share the blessings that God has given me. To my late Lolo Al and Lolo Ramon, I am so sad that you can’t see me graduate but I hope you are looking down on me and are very proud.

To all the few friends that stuck with me since childhood and until now, thank you so much for making me realise the power of friendship and I appreciate all the support you have given me (even though I didn’t get to meet up or hang out as much as you would have liked me to come and meet up). I will try and make an effort to come hang out more hahaha. To all the friends I met at university, you have been amazing and I am sure our paths will cross again and you will go on to greater things. To all the lecturers that taught me, you have opened my eyes and ears about social issues from theories that seemed like from many years ago (that I would have normally not even realised existed or wanted to read) but those lessons will stay with me in my mind and has not only made me wiser but full of curiosity to discover more. 

After today I would be officially ending my university life with the highest grade and closing a huge chapter of my life. I cannot wait to see what the future has install for me. Let us toast to more undiscovered adventures that are now waiting to be discovered. 

Peace and Love, 

Trisha xo

Being a Grown-up

Sorry I haven’t posted for ages since I have been swamped with events and work and life in general. I will keep this short since I want to plan ahead some ideas of what to write about. I have been busying working at my new workplace which I have been enjoying so far. I am looking for another work since it is just a part-time job but I will see how this one goes in the meantime. I have my graduation coming up and so I have been getting ready for that (I still have a few things still missing but apart from that I think I’m ready). My mom recently had her birthday and we had a lovely time spending some quality family time. I wanted to post on here but she wanted to keep it hush-hush lol. I am enjoying being single and focusing on me for a little while. Everyone is doing good and I am slowly figuring out this being a grown-up thing. 

Anyways, I promise I will make a much better effort on posting on this blog and writing more about my life and every undiscovered adventure I will be going to and hopefully discovering. 

Peace and Love xo

Trisha