Greedy and Needy

Please stop begging, you’ll just scrap your knee
Mate the game is over, its time to set you free
You want to leave, so go on then, just go
I want you gone now, why you so slow
You keep stalling, you haven’t packed a bag
Go look for your princess, if I’m such a hag
Yea, I heard you. You know I ain’t deaf
Why are you still here, I wish you had left
A lot sooner, maybe things would have gone better
By the way, you can have your stupid sweater
I hated it and I would have thrown it in the fire
Along with my love and all of your car tyres
Time to move on, there is the door
Leave now, dude, I don’t love you anymore
Haven’t really loved you, not one bit
Everything was a mismatch- we didn’t fit
Plus I had an affair with your brother
He was crap too, just go find another
Many girls would marry you if they were dumb
But I have had enough of you, you make me numb
You made me fat with stress and depression
Dude, get out, you reek a lot of desperation
No one like a massive loser and someone who is soooooo needy
Go cling to someone else’s leg cause damn boy, you’re so greedy

BINGO is a Gambler’s Game

When I was younger, one of my Lola (called Lola Puring) loved playing Bingo and she would often gather everyone in the house to come play with her, including me and Vanessa. It all started innocently with a recycled bottle for the numbers and one card each. It was all harmless fun until…she brought money into the game. I have never seen gambling before and by no means, is she a gambling woman and it was all just a game after all. But at the age of 6 or 7, I didn’t have any money (apart from money in my Elmo piggy bank). I don’t know how much I lost but from the light weight of my piggy bank, I gathered it was quite a lot lol. I didn’t really understand the concept of money then (I still don’t) but it was fun. I loved playing it especially with my Lola who lives several hours from Manila. I wish I could play with her some more now but I don’t know if she even remembers. I think she has dementia. She keeps repeating stories over and over when we talk with her but I would play BINGO with her over and over again if I had a chance. I’d gamble my time for one more game.

He Kissed Her (1)

He said ‘I like you’ but his boy brain kissed her. This boy said he fancied me to the extent he gave me presents because that’s how you win a girl’s heart that you like, right? After telling me that he likes me and looked me in the eyes: he still kissed her. We were both standing outside of maths class, innocently flirting whilst the teacher gets ready for the lesson. He was telling me I look cute today and I was probably blushing. I wasn’t looking for a boyfriend at the time (but a high school crush I could have being a young girl, aged 13). Anyways there were also these two girls who were playing a game of “Kiss Me”. They were getting guys from the corridor to kiss their cheek (a stupid game I know but this was before everyone discovered Facebook). One of the girls stopped in the middle of my high school crush and I and asked him to kiss her cheek. He looked at me and I shrugged (hoping he’ll get the hint and NOT kiss her) but of course, he did. He kissed her and had a huge grin on his face. Meanwhile, I wasn’t impressed and a little pissed so I gave him the worst thing an immature/jealous high school girl could think of giving: the Silent Treatment. He spent a week trying the figure out why I wasn’t talking to him anymore and looking back he deserved every single second of silence that I gave him.

The Breaking News Report

Hello, my name is Patricia A. Guillermo and I am reporting from my house. I loved copying new reporters on TV. They always sound so silly yet important at the same time. There was something about being a news reporter that applied to me but I didn’t know what. I guess a part of me wanted to do what they did. As a child, I found it fascinating how composed and calm they are when reporting horrific events going on around the world. I still admire news readers now as an adult. But now I don’t know if I can do all the research and report on semi-biased opinions or hypocritical views they might have that aren’t in line with their own personal views. Plus I prefer writing compared to talk anyways. I guess that is my news reporter/reader little girl dream fading further away.

No Jewellery, First.

Diamonds are supposed to be a girl’s best friend but for me, it is more like a dark omen. All three of my ex-boyfriends gave me jewellery as their first gifts. It was all sweet at first and of course, I enjoy the little sparkle that jewellery can add to your outfit and those boys have a great taste in jewellery. It is only when the jewellery starts to break, rust or gets lost that signifies a symbol from God or something of high universal power that this relationship is about to come to an end. For instance, when my first boyfriend broke up with me, I chose to give back the gold bracelet he gave me as a” token of his love” (more on this in another post). He wasn’t offended I gave it back and many people were questioning why I didn’t just sell it on eBay but it was my decision so I handed it back to him. We were on and off flirting with each other and one day he was high or drunk and he mentioned how he wished I still had the bracelet. I said I didn’t want it and asked if he still had it. And surprise surprise (not), he didn’t know where it was…an expensive bracelet that was supposed to be a token of his love is forever lost- a bit like any feeling I may still have for him lol.

Then, my second boyfriend gave me a lovely necklace that was made of stretchy string, had beads threaded through it and had a moulded glass centrepiece in the shape of a heart (how romantic). I wore it every day and had it on my bedside table as I sleep at night. It lasted for 9 months and then the heart one day just broke in half (which was so ironic come to think of it). A couple of days later he broke up with me and I just knew it was some sort of sign. My third ex is a little different as I was the one who ended it with him but the necklace and earring combo (again very beautiful, expensive and often worn) had started to rust and there was a knot in the chain. Another sign that it wasn’t meant to be.

So, the lesson of the story is this: to my future boyfriend, wherever you are, whenever you will pop up in my life, please read this as a cautionary warning that jewellery leads to a break-up so don’t give me any jewellery as your first gift. (although know I do not have anything against jewellery being a second gift or a third gift etc…).

Orange Juice Grudge

Whilst I was still going out with that boy from ‘Sat Next to Me’ post we were just hanging out being lovey-dovey (which makes me kind of nauseous thinking about it) sitting on a bench by the football field. We were talking and he leaned in to kiss me and the next thing I know, my hair and my back are drenched in orange juice. We look up and there were two of his mates laughing with amusement and one of them has an empty orange juice bottle in his hand. I turned around: ‘Why did you do that for?!’. He sneered at me: ‘Sorry it slipped.’ was the bullshit excuse that came out of his mouth. I wanted to hit him so bad but the tears came before the fist so instead, I ran to the bathroom to fix myself. I left a group of people puzzled and heard ‘Dude, what did you do?’ (which was aimed at my boyfriend). I ran to the toilet and cried with embarrassment. I was angry that I smell of orange juice and angry that my so-called-boyfriend just stood there like an idiot and watch one of his friends humiliate me (I was also pissed at the orange pouring douche of course). I composed myself and went outside met by all these people who witnessed what happened and some people who liked a gossip, trying to find out what happened. I looked at my boyfriend and his douchebag friend who were stood side by side, both looking guilty and dumbfounded but no word of apology or comfort came forward. I walked past the crowd as the bell rang and the next day all events were forgotten. I still remembered though to this day and honestly the grudge game is still strong.

She had “that” Vibe

Ever had anyone who suddenly comes into your school and jumps into your friendship group like it was an okay thing to do? Well, I have (twice). I am a friendly person and is open to being kind to you and being friends with you. But after a while, she had a vibe about her. I am normally good at sensing people’s aura but I think there was a delay or something. She came to high school in the third year and she jumped into the friendship circle I was in. I was okay with her for a little bit and stayed friends with her until the end. But it was the little things she said to me and did that questioned how much of a friend she really is:

  • My first boyfriend broke up with me and she confessed later that she found him very cute and fancied him when she first started but saw he was with me and decided to stay away.
  • I told her that I fancy this guy in confidence and she went out to ask him out for me but ended up “accidentally” asking him out for herself.
  • We were supposed to be in a group for our final drama performance and she was telling me how she is extremely reluctant to work with this guy in our group. The day came when the drama teacher asked us to form our groups and I looked like a right idiot sitting there by myself when she moved to another group. She didn’t tell me anything about moving but she casually apologised a week later (like that makes it okay) *
  • I joked about her looking like one of the traffic lights when she wore a red dress to prom and she was sat next to two other people wearing orange and green (one of which was actually me). She didn’t like that and snubbed our table to hang out with other people for the rest of the event.
  • She moved to the Sixth Form college I went to and again (she did it twice!) hanged out with my friendship group I was in and acted like I was being distant. (I ended up leaving that friendship group after they all showed their true colours).
  • I invited her to my 18th birthday party, she sang me a song and at the end of the evening, she didn’t thank me and I haven’t heard from her since.

I know that when I had started having bad vibes about her that I should have walked away much sooner and not welcomed her as my friend. But seriously, if I had just walked away I would have been the one seen as bitchy and I didn’t want that. Also, I know that being an angsty teenager I tend to have bad days and so I thought maybe I was just reflecting my problems on her (my sister also admitted she got that vibe about her when I told her about this post) but I just had a gut feeling that I am right. This experience taught me to be cautious of people who claim to be my “friend” because sometimes their intentions are not real.

*I will post a follow-up story to explain more about this drama project and my ex-friend.