Orange Juice Grudge

Whilst I was still going out with that boy from ‘Sat Next to Me’ post we were just hanging out being lovey-dovey (which makes me kind of nauseous thinking about it) sitting on a bench by the football field. We were talking and he leaned in to kiss me and the next thing I know, my hair and my back are drenched in orange juice. We look up and there were two of his mates laughing with amusement and one of them has an empty orange juice bottle in his hand. I turned around: ‘Why did you do that for?!’. He sneered at me: ‘Sorry it slipped.’ was the bullshit excuse that came out of his mouth. I wanted to hit him so bad but the tears came before the fist so instead, I ran to the bathroom to fix myself. I left a group of people puzzled and heard ‘Dude, what did you do?’ (which was aimed at my boyfriend). I ran to the toilet and cried with embarrassment. I was angry that I smell of orange juice and angry that my so-called-boyfriend just stood there like an idiot and watch one of his friends humiliate me (I was also pissed at the orange pouring douche of course). I composed myself and went outside met by all these people who witnessed what happened and some people who liked a gossip, trying to find out what happened. I looked at my boyfriend and his douchebag friend who were stood side by side, both looking guilty and dumbfounded but no word of apology or comfort came forward. I walked past the crowd as the bell rang and the next day all events were forgotten. I still remembered though to this day and honestly the grudge game is still strong.

Sat Next to Me

My first boyfriend and I met in high school because we were in the same form group. I personally didn’t know anything about dating and wasn’t looking for a boyfriend but being a naive 13-year-old girl what was I supposed to know. We dated for 6 months and were on and off for another 3 years. One day I asked him when was the first time he knew he liked me and he replied: ‘When you were sat next to me.’ I must have looked confused so he continued: ‘When we were in our form room we had to sit next to each other and I told you that my parents were separated.’ I nodded at him, pretended I knew and we went off with our relationship. I was reflecting on it one night and the moment he told me about started to replay in my mind.

We had to sit alphabetically for our form group and I was sat next to this guy. We didn’t really talk (because I was immature and thought boys have cooties or something lol). Anyways, I was shy and didn’t feel the need to talk to someone I will only see in the mornings and the occasional classes. I remember he would laugh at what I said and try to make conversation, but I would just nod or dismiss him with an exaggerated ‘Okay’ or shrug. It was protocol to check all our details such as address and phone numbers so the school could store the information in the database. I was handing mine in and he suddenly leaned over and pointed out that my parents live at the same address. I did my exaggerated okay then he pointed out that his parents were divorced and that’s why they had different addresses. I didn’t really care and didn’t think out it until I asked him when he first liked me. It was so weird remembering that moment back then and right now. I didn’t realise that boys have such good memories (especially on things that meant so much to them) and as a young girl who thought she was in love that was a sweet realisation. If only boys would grow up and stay this why instead of being jerks. He was my first boyfriend so I find it natural to keep coming back to him and I am warning you now the stories I have about him are to gag for.

Never Mind

Many years have passed and words have been said
Yet here we are standing the test of time instead
We stand face to face, invisible to the eye and screen in hand
We talk and it comes back to the phrase: ‘I hope you understand’
But you know what, I don’t think I do and maybe after this, I never will
We have been moving so fast but Mate its time to stand still
I asked you a harmless question and you asked one back
I had an explanation then you exploded with an attack
You began with how you did me good through all these years
Oh is that why my heart is breaking and my eyes fill with tears?
You accuse me of things I never gave you or every did
Sometimes, you make me feel like the girl that God forbid
You continue that my lack of presence means I don’t care
Just because I didn’t take the train or the money, well that’s not fair!
You said I hold you at a distance even when you are close enough to touch
Sorry I wasted my tears for two days straight, just because I missed you so much
Then you end the conversation by saying  it’s nice for a couple to openly communicate
Four months have gone by and you choose to tell me this now, well Dude it’s too late
I am tired of disappointments and how we are running round and round
You keep on talking clever words but I no longer hear any sound
You missed so much whilst you were basking in your incredibility
You wanted me to be more visible in your life, how about invisibility?
Because I feel invisible and all I asked was a tag or a small post
I didn’t ask you for money or a train ticket, I’m so glad this ends with almost
I want to wish you good luck in your future and I’ll bow out and say farewell
If you had only listened, there are so many news I still had to say and tell
But I guess you’ll never know that how your hopes could have come true
If you could have only waited, I would be now planning my way to you
I never thought I would be the one to end it, I was the one who walked away
I have a feeling I will remember that rainy night and the following sunny day
And the saddest thing is that you made me believe that we are intertwined
But when I woke up, my heart felt lighter and my brain shrugged: “Never mind”.

The Truth About You

Nothing beats the sound of your voice
Since you left, it’s all quiet, no noise
You left for good and never came back
You left and took all the things I now lack
So I might as well tell you how I feel
Time to wake up from my fantasy and get real
We had our time, from beginning to end
I’m glad you are no longer my friend
You just walk by and ignore me
Telling me to cheer up and think its funny
But really get serious, I really got hurt
Expecting me to sit here and get treated like dirt
Well, I say, enough is enough, Stop!
You are so over the top
I mean look at you?
You look like poo
Your hair turned brown then black
You look like a burnt flapjack
I call your name, can’t you hear?
Maybe you should clean your ears, dear!
As for your behaviour, you are going wild
You act like a really spoilt child
My sister’s friend is a bit of a pain
But at least, he’s got a bigger brain
One more thing, have you seen where apologies lurk?
Don’t care says you…the big-headed, two-faced jerk
So I would like to say goodbye
See you when pigs fly!
Just go and play with your stupid gadgets and toys
Make sure you share with your mates, the other cocky boys

Unnoticeable Warning

This is for the special boy in my heart
I just can’t believe we are so far apart
The days we had has finally ended
The feelings you hurt is still offended
The gifts you gave me are on my shelf
The only thing missing is yourself
But right now, I think you are pretty busy
The way she spins you around, it must make you feel dizzy
The way she orders you around like a slave
Make a note to yourself: DIG UP YOUR GRAVE
I’ve been down that road, please just stop
Soon you’ll suddenly burst, you’ll pop!
But seriously, she treats you like a butler or a maid
But worse of all, you are not even getting paid
So before your funeral or you turn into roasted duck…
I want to say… love you… just kidding… GOOD LUCK!

Moving On

I have nothing to lose and more to gain
The time has come to stop the pain
The troubles are over and it’s going to stop
Time to climb and reach the mountain top
Just keep going cause you are gonna get there soon
Jump aboard and explore the planets, stars and moon
Travel the world and reach your goals
Complete my heart and reach my inner soul
I need to move on from the horrific past
Try to make the present last
Love me, my friends and family
Just relax and be problem free
Smile and laugh like before I met you
Achieve and Win, make my dreams come true
Starting right now, you are out of my life
You can no longer hurt me like a knife
I don’t need your hug or your kiss
We are over, you won’t be missed
I bid you farewell, you deadly stranger
Just stay away from me cause you’re the real danger.

Not Worth the Fight

In Life, there are hopes and dreams
Horror, Madness and endless screams
Times that are good and amazing
Times that are bad and non-fulfilling
Times you keep sitting and just wait
Time you chase but realise it’s too late
Times you experience eternal bliss
Like the time you had your first kiss
Times he looked into your eyes
But then it turned out to be all lies
Times he led you into his trap
Brought you down, made you feel crap
He hates you and you hate him
Finally, turning on the light to dim
Move on, from him and call him uncanny
He dares hurt you, Go and show him you’re happy
Teach him he was never Mr Right
Teach him, he’s not worth the fight