I don’t know what it is, maybe a lack of sleep
Too much going on and been falling so deep
Tired all the time yet I’ve sat still
For such a long time, waiting until
Something happens or I need to be free
From the dozen of thoughts nagging at me
The meaning of life and questions of love
Praying for answers from the man up above
They say: Keep going and you will find
All the things you have left behind
Never turn around and look to the past
Wondering if things would ever last
Follow the rules they are there to be followed
Open your heart even though it’s been hollowed
Mistakes are for people looking to succeed
Perfection is how you’ll get the deed
To your hard work and all the labour
No more asking strangers for a favour
Too bad it isn’t all too easy
When all the weight makes you feel queasy
The weight in your heart and in your head
How you’ll just grow old and tired instead
Cannot shift the weight, it is here to stay
Day and night, no matter no much you pray
There are lessons we need to learn
Yet we need the money to earn
So we can buy and we can strive
Living a life to prove we can survive
We grew older wishing we were small
Knowing that every step could lead to a fall
A fall that a kiss or a plaster cannot fix
And then having to inspect our bag of tricks
For a miracle or a hope, for our dream
Why can all we hear is the scream
Of our thoughts crying in pain
Of our hearts going insane
From all the feelings we have suppressed
Then people asking why are we depressed
They don’t understand what goes in our mind
Of all the dangerous moments that follows us behind
How we quiver in conflict and avoid fear
How we fake a smile and stop the tear
That could flood the bath and our lungs
How we drunk the bleach more than once
The times we held a knife or the rope
Praying for a single strand of hope
To take our hand and away from the edge
Of the glass, the pills or the ledge
To tell us that it will be okay
That one day the anxieties will go away
But for now, know that you and I are not alone
Please speak to someone and dial a number on your phone
Yesterday, Today or Tommorrow may not seem fine
But please talk to someone on the suicide helpline.
We all have anxieties and are going through a lot in our lives that can seem overwhelming. Please know that someone loves you and would be happy to listen to whatever you are going through, even if it is some stranger on the phone. There are a lot of information on the numbers you can call to reach the suicide helpline team in your country.
You are not alone, even if it feels like that now. You are loved.
A girl who decided to promise her life to Death
In twenty-four hours she’ll take her final breath
She needs someone to show her the light
To free her and hold her tight
She stares into the dark, swimming in red
If you don’t go now, she’ll soon be dead
She’s crying softly, here comes the rain
Death is knocking, she’s gonna go insane
Come to her and she might let you in
If you don’t, then Death will win!
*for World Suicide Awareness Day*
After what you’ve been through
You now know dreams don’t come true
There isn’t honesty or trust
Love was replaced by lust
Families are broken because of what someone said
They can’t forgive or even forgot instead
Mother has always to be right
Father tries to break the fight
The youngest has to make noise
The eldest has to make the choice
Then there is you whose have been told to shut her mouth
To keep quiet because everyone has had enough
You’re always put to the test
The one who is put second-best
So you ran and ran and then tripped
A piece of your heart was ripped
Until he put it back together
The boy who told you forever
He said love is all you needed
You beg him to stay you pleaded
He left everyone else before
You’re here again slammed in the face by a door
They don’t know that you would never stop crying
Praying to God to say you just want to be dying
To never have to wake up and see anyone
Finally, wake up somewhere fun
But even if it’s the end and all is well
You have always known that you belong to hell.
If I disappeared, would they notice?
If I swore, would they promise?
If I’m invisible, would they assume?
Just carry on talking like I’m not in the room
Sometimes I turn the water high
So I won’t hear them and they won’t hear me cry
I pour the hot water every time in the bath
I tried to take the pain away, but it’s not enough
I cry hoping the tears will run out
But it never does, I never shout
All there is to do is use the knife
What’s the purpose in this life?
If I haven’t found my purpose by now
I might as well take my final bow.
Who would care If I was to die?
Who would give a damn to find out why?
Who would cry on my deathbed?
Who would pray to God instead?
Who would give blood to make me alive?
Who would wish I survived?
Who would find out what killed me in the end?
Who would fight those who want to defend?
Doctors say that my heart suddenly stopped beating
I died whilst I was sleeping
No one cared or bothered to check my heart
No one wondered if it could restart
If they looked at it closely, they would have no doubt
I didn’t die from the poison within but the love without.